I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
