Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
