the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
