Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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