So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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