Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
