I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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