You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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