is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
