DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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