Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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