there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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