ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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