well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
