That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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