i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize