It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
