Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
