The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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