I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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