i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Fuck appropriateness.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
