2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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