One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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