is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize