No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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