But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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