So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
