And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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