can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
