all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
