apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize