it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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