I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
