someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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