stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
