Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
