Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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