Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
