My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
