Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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