Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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