I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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