This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
