Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
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you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
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Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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