Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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