u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
