did you get engaged???
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
