We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
