So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
