can u get pink eye on your cock?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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