I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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