Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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