I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
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Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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