it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
