I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
