do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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