so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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