It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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