so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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