my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize