dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
