my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
