I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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