the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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