dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
