With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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