we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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